Loss of freedom
In a man’s mind there is a loss of freedom in marriage. Time
and decision are no longer based wholly on his will. To make a marriage work,
give and take is required from both parties. This is different from his
bachelor lifestyle, which was just about him, and completely in his control.
The thought of marriage also leads to the thought of
children. This in turn also leads to a greater loss of his freedom.
She’ll take more
than she’ll give
He may spend less, take less time to get ready, and be
overall less high-maintenance than his partner. This can lead to a fear that
after marriage, she will take more than she gives in the relationship. So as a
result, a future with her can be a frightful thing.
Doesn’t feel it’s
the right time
There are many factors when it comes to getting married at
the right time in life. The timings in careers, finances, family, being
emotionally ready, all have to do with the right timing. His fears of marriage
may just be a result of it not being the right time for him to be thinking
about marriage.
Fights were
handled wrong
When arguments happen in relationships that go unresolved,
they can influence our thoughts about marriage and relationships. This is
especially true if they are handled incorrectly. When people go through
unresolved arguments, we begin to question our abilities to make a relationship
work. As a result, we may begin to think that any marriage is doomed to fail.
People don’t like
change, regardless
The majority of people don’t like change regardless of being
male or female, a bachelor or married, and marriage is a big change. It may not
have to do with marriage in itself, but people don’t like change in general.
Fear of life
becoming boring
When most men think of marriage, their impressions are
formed mostly from older people they know. Including; parents, relatives, or
even neighbours. Old people in their minds are boring. As a result they believe
that married people are boring. Their fear of marriage may really be a fear of
life becoming boring.
The end, the last
major goal people have
Marriage is the last major goal people have at that stage.
Guys don’t think about retiring or children too much beforehand. They may not
be ready to close that chapter of their life just yet. In their minds, they are
still too young, or not ready.
Loss of control
Most parts about a man’s life are based on his abilities.
His career, his success, his car, they are based on his abilities to control
and acquire them. A marriage is different in that it is based on both parties
to make work. This is a new concept to a bachelor who once had everything rely
on his abilities to function and control.
No more women
Some men don’t prioritize a monogamous relationship as much
as women do. Their goals in life have to do with getting it with as many women
in life as possible. So marriage to them can be seen as a huge failure, or even
the opposite of what they truly want in life.
Men do what they’re
told
Men can sometimes be like robots. They do what they’re told,
or at least what their guy friends tell them. Their guys friends can be telling
them that life is over after marriage, don’t even think about what life is like
after kids. Regardless of the quality of the advice they get from their male
friends, guys will put great emphasis on what they tell them.
Responsibility and
commitment
As people get married, a great amount of responsibility and
commitment take place. There is also a great amount of reward, but men don’t
think about that factor. They are only focused on the former. This is a big
change from being a bachelor, and the bigness of that change can scare them.
He doesn’t know
how to make marriage work
We see it all around us, 50% of marriages end in divorce.
While some reasons men have in not getting married don’t make sense, this one
is a fair one. He may not want to go through the pain and hardship he’s seen
people he’s know his whole life go through.
When people see marriages they thought were strong end, they
begin to doubt their ability in making relationships work. As a result he could
have developed a fear of getting married from not knowing how to make a
relationship work, or from seeing other marriages end.
Doesn’t know how
to get a quality life out of marriage
Because of the advice he’s been given from his friends that
life is over after marriage, he doesn’t know how to get a quality life from
marriage. No one wants to live a crappy life, and without having positive
married role models and positive marriage goals to enrich life, it’s no wonder
he doesn’t want to get married.
They’re selfish
He could be smart enough to realize that marriages take
sacrifice and commitment to the other, but this is a price he doesn’t want to
pay. Sometimes people are too selfish to make a marriage work. This is what he
really fears.
These are the many reasons men don’t want to get married.
Some of these reasons have to do with childhood fears of failure and need to be
handled with sensitivity. Others are born from bad advice of bad company.
Learning them can help you spot what could be going through a man’s mind when
the word ‘marriage’ comes up.
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